If you just found out you are pregnant, or have been pregnant for the past few weeks you can probably relate to the fact that when you are pregnant, you go through some crazy ass things.
The weeks leading up to me finding out we were pregnant, was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. It was a hectic couple of weeks, work had been busier than it had ever been, people were preparing for the coming holiday season and, the store was about to have its busiest week all year. The Annual Jr League Christmas Fairwas about to take place, a yearly shopping event that has been a long standing tradition many women in El Paso. People absolutely love this event, it kicks off the holiday season and many women take off work to go to this event just to “shop early”! Jr League brings in vendors, from all over the country for 4 days of Christmas music, candy canes and SHOPPING! The store I run participates in this fair every year and, during this week, I basically live at the convention center, I hardly eat, sleep and stand for hours on end.
This year, everyday during fair week I found myself utterly exhausted, I’ve worked this event for a few years now and knew exactly how much it takes out of me and like clock work, I kept thinking, "Man, I’m getting old”, I was so tired, my feet and back were killing me, I felt like I wasn't the firecracker I was in years past. After fair week, people kept asking me how I was doing and typically, I wouldn’t skip a beat and would be back at. My responses to every single person was the same: “I feel like I am so hung over from Christmas Fair” sadly -- that’s the only thing I could compare it to! 1. Exhaustion, 2. Nausea, 3. Exhaustion 4. Sensitivity to smells 5.) the need to sleep excessively 6. Exhaustion. It literally like I felt like I was hangover for 2 weeks! Then after the two weeks I thought maybe I was getting sick, so I started popping Airbornelike they were tic tacks.
In addition to this long drawn out “hangover” I became was SO SENSITIVE! Some days on my drive to work I would feel so incredibly sad, like I was lost and had no purpose, I would start crying for no reason, which was very uncharacteristic of my personality. I was all over the place, I was easily angered, irritated, and so moody. I remember telling one of the girls at work that I felt like I was going through some kind serious PMS, I was starting arguments with my husband for no reason, & I felt like I was acting like a literal crazy person. I knew that I was acting unusual and so I decided I needed to start a journal and let it all out. I started my first journal entry with this exact sentence, “ I think sometimes I may be going through depression or, it may be possible that I'm bipolar.”. For a while there I literally thought I was going crazy, I felt like a shell of myself floating above myself.
Just to put in perspective how crazy I was: one night my husband and I decided to have dinner at our favorite Vietnamese pho restaurant. It was a cold night, so we thought that a quick bowl of pho noodle soup was exactly what we both needed. As we ordered I was so annoyed because he ordered the second he sat down and didn’t wait until the waitress bring us menus, even though we both always order the same thing LOL. As we waited for our food I was so irritated but knew I shouldn’t say anything because it was so stupid. As the waitress brought out our bowls of soup my husband took the soup spoon that was given to each of us and put my spoon into my bowl for me. At that moment, I wasn’t ready to eat yet, and the spoon fell straight to the bottom of the bowl, my entire spoon was soaked. Just like that, I was livid. I couldn’t even handle it. I thought to myself why would he put my spoon in my bowl for me! My spoon is soaking wet and it is going to be so annoying eating with a wet spoon. I could hardly contain myself but I made it through dinner without saying a word, fuming about my soup spoon experience. Since my husband and I met at the pho restaurant after work, after dinner we got into our seperate cars and went home. I was pissed, fuming, I wanted to cry, I didn’t know what to do with myself so I called my sister, the only person on earth who would understand how annoying putting a person’s soup spoon into their Pho would be. I called her and ranted all the way home, I was driving in circles because I didn't want to go home yet because I was so pissed. She of course being the amazing sister that she is just agreed with me, “yeah, OMGOSH, that is so annoying, I can’t believe he did that...like why would he do that?” she said, and just like that I felt at ease. When I got home I didn’t say anything to my husband, I knew I was acting like a maniac, and I was so exhausted from being upset I didn’t want to start a long argument about (now that I look back at it) nothing. Til this day I wanna thank my sister, for always being so incredible in dealing with me and my craziness.
So if you think to yourself, remember back in middle school when every other day you would run home to tell your Mom that your life was over because you are so embarrassed by ...blah blah blah... and cried until there was no tomorrow? Going through the rollercoaster of emotions at the beginning of your pregnancy is like something like that. Little things that wouldn't normally bother you will somehow seem like such a huge deal, sometimes you are going to feel really lost or sad, sometimes, you feel hopelessness and easily angered, don’t worry its all going to be ok! Keep a journal and write in it! I had done it in desperation but, til this day I keep a pregnancy journal, and it has been so helpful in my entire experience. No matter how crazy you may feel, how many melt downs you might have, always know that you can always count on your bestie (mines on speed dial), a fellow pregnant friend, your hubby or your mom to be your sound board! You’re just hormonal! Cry if you feel like crying, you have so many emotions going through you, and its ok! Just keep in mind: everything is going to be ok, and that these hormones won't last forever!
See below for an infographic about the different types of hormones that might be ranging through your system and what symptoms they cause!